Last November my wife and I invested in a Happiness Machine. We’re very happy with it. It works quite well.
The Happiness Machine is pleasing to look at. I feel a deep fondness in my heart whenever I set my eyes on it. It’s soft to the touch. The Happiness Machine is fuzzy. Sometimes it can have a foul odor, but that’s another story.
It’s very easy to maintain a Happiness Machine. It requires regular fueling, twice a day. It also produces exhaust, so we must make sure to take it outside regularly. Every once in a while, the Happiness Machine emits exhaust inside our house. On those occasions, we yell at the Happiness Machine.
No matter. The Happiness Machine loves to see us, bouncing up and down when we walk in the house, and soaking us with its kissing device when we wake up in the morning. The Happiness Machine can detect when we’re upset and goes into cheer-me-up mode.
But it’s not all sunshine and roses. All Happiness Machines have their quirks and known malfunctions. Ours runs around the house at 90 miles per hour at eight in the evening. It also destroys, whenever possible, our socks and underwear.
On the whole, I give our Happiness Machine two big thumbs up. I wholly recommend one.